Thursday, April 24, 2014

Happy 2014 Jan. 8, 2014

Happy Holidays Everyone!

I hope your Christmas was amazing and that your New Year brings you more peace than ever! Christmas Day was spent with my family and with my friends Vinnie, an Australian that I met in Kampala and Haley, my friend from AK who spent the month of December with me in Kisoro. We had a beautiful lunch at the German couples home, who live next door to us. It was a feast of plenty including meatballs and sugar cookies. Haley and I had several baking extravaganzas throughout the month; we introduced many lucky Ugandans to sugar cookies fresh from the oven and banana bread, both were very warmly received!

I feel so blessed to have the month of December filled with so many friends. I had a brief visit from Karin and Brita at the beginning of the month, it was so great to catch up with familiar faces and hear about their African experiences! They left me with a bulging bag of goodies and clothes to distribute along with many smiles and good stories. The very same day that they arrived, my friend Denyse, whom I also met in Kampala, but is Rwandan returned to Kampala after a week-end visit. So much goodness…when it rains, it pours! Haley and I toured Kisoro by foot and by motorcycle, we ran a marathon, taught sexual health classes, enjoyed lazy days at the lake, gave swimming lessons, baked, attended weddings, visited the pygmy's, took so many gorgeous photographs with her camera, went hunting for witch doctors and with Haley around there’s constantly sporadic dance parties, we were busy girls and had an incredible month!

Santa brought me "Happy", since they don't have the “L” sound in their alphabet, it comes out as an "R" and Haley, was being called "Harry". Although I thought that was a nice name for her, for some reason she didn't care for it and we quickly turned her into "Happy" which is a common name here and suits her beyond perfectly. The first class she taught was at my friend’s home, with about twelve young, African men in attendance. She taught everything from basic wound cleaning, hand washing, the importance of boiling your drinking water, splinting a broken bone, immobilizing the neck and transporting someone with a spinal injury. The syllabus was thorough and she even talked about nutritional information, the importance of eating colorful vegetables and adding variety to their diet, stressing carrots, avocados and their leafy green, spinach-like veggie of doe-doe. Everyone sat intently listening, along with the group of men, my female friends Denyse and Hope, the housekeeper, were a great addition to the group. At the end of the class, we decided to add some information on Sexual Health, STD’s, and the transmission of HIV. After the six hour class, when Happy asked for a final time if anyone had questions, we spent another two hours answering questions strictly about sexual health. It was obvious to us, where their interest was and what the most useful information to them was. From then on, the class turned into a Sexual Health class, there were nine classes in total, most of them in villages and we could have continued to teach, if only Happy decided to stay longer! Having Happy for a teacher and given the subject matter in which she spoke, makes for some very content students at the end of each class! She is bumbling ball of positive energy and laughter.

For most of the villages, we notified the sub county chief of the village and requested them to “mobilize people” for the classes, sometimes we showed up to a group of eager villagers sitting on benches outside of a church and other times we showed up to a surprised chief who quickly made excuses and sent someone to notify the villagers of the class while we sat and waited. When we arrived in the village of Kabaya, where we built the house for the old man, they were all surprised to see us, but Happy stood up in the trading center and began her dialogue about STD’s, condoms and HIV. The village men gathered and before I knew it there were over one hundred men standing there listening. I shuddered for her and couldn’t imagine how she had the courage to stand up there and talk about gonorrhea, chlamydia and genital herpes. The villagers were all interested in the information she was sharing and most had no idea that any other STD’s, besides AIDS existed. At the end of the class
one old man asked, “How do I properly wash out the condom before using it with another woman?” Or, one woman asked, “So…if I have all of these diseases, that means I have HIV?” The lack of knowledge on the subject was astounding and the desire to know more was equally amazing. Imagine not having access to this information or not visiting a gynecologist regularly, or ever. Imagine never visiting a Doctor for a check-up, or to just ask questions, imagine not having the internet or the library to research symptoms you may be having. They were thrilled to have someone to ask their questions to, and it didn’t stop at sexual health questions! Happy had to repeatedly tell them that she wasn’t a Doctor; she was a teacher of First Aid and Health and then she’d answer the questions the best she could, usually followed by, “and then see a Doctor”. We put an ad on the radio to advertise the classes in the remote villages; we hired a woman translator so that the women would feel comfortable asking their questions as well. The culture here does not allow women to speak openly and freely about many things. We were told that if the women asked questions about sex or condom use that their husbands may think they were cheating on them. Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, it’s many of the men that cheat on their wives and spread the HIV virus, or they have more than one wife and the wives have no say in the matter.

One Saturday morning we took a small, wooden canoe across Lake Mutanda, to a small island with about one hundred people living on it. Justine, the interpreter was with us and after hiking up the hill to the small church at the top, we sat in the blazing sun for over an hour while the people were “mobilized”. Eventually the entire population of the island was there, with no health clinic on the island these people were thrilled to ask about their varicose veins, about the skin rashes they have and many questions about HIV contraction, such as; when I go to the dentist can I get HIV? When I get my head shaved and share the razor with other people can I get HIV? Of course these are legitimate questions but still astounding that they don’t know the answers to them by now! Nor do many of them know how to properly use a condom, so after the first class, we went out and bought ourselves the biggest African carrot we could find and demonstrated how to put on, to remove and even how to dispose of a condom properly. Of course, not everyone appreciated this information, but we decided it was worth offending a few to stop the spread of diseases and possibly unwanted pregnancies in an already overpopulated and impoverished nation. Most people were very interested and were both astonished and entertained by it. After the class on Mutanda Island, we all slowly made our way back down to the boat through banana plantations while chewing on fresh sugar cane, we climbed into the boat and as Justine sat rigidly in front of us I asked her if she’s ever been in a boat before, she shook her head no. I asked her if she liked it and she said she was “fearing”. Of course there’s not a single life jacket in the boat and out of the seven of us, chances are good that it’s just Happy and I that know how to swim. Just after Happy and I briefly discuss that we’d have to choose which one we would save if the boat tipped, her phone rings. It is Justine’s husband, wondering when she’ll be home. Two days later it was Christmas, we started the day by delivering fresh banana bread to some families of the students I teach. Then, we celebrated at the German’s home; Happy, my Aussie friend Vinnie and I all enjoyed the feast and many silly games. It was a lovely day, filled with friends and laughter. Two days after Christmas we sent Justine a text, asking her if she could translate the next day for our final class. She told us she couldn’t, that she had a friend who was very sick in the hospital. The next day, after class, we were told that Justine’s husband had died of HIV. The “friend” in the hospital was her husband; she never told us he was sick, never told us he had HIV. Of course, that also means that Justine is probably HIV positive as well and possibly their three year old son, hopefully she took the drugs while she was pregnant with him to avoid him contracting the virus. A world of secrets, deception and delusions, the next day at the burial the Reverend tells us, “he was taken too soon, but that is life.” Everyone seems to be resigned to the terrible fates that Africa dishes out, no one questions it and no one has the courage or confidence to fight for change. It’s like they think they don’t deserve any better, they don’t have the right to a better life.

The hunt for a witch Doctor was in part to help us understand how people could actually believe in them and the superstitions in which they are bound. We drove through villages and pushed the motorcycles up hills through mud, we walked through the slick, rutted and muddy parts. We found men claiming to be witch doctors, but who couldn’t cure whites, we found a woman with so many animals and children in her compound there’s no way possible that she could know how many of either were there. We sat in the hut of an old man who claimed to cure people and when we started asking too many questions he started pushing us for marriage! He was willing to give ten cows for Happy; I was willing to give her, although we’d had much better offers (as many as 700 cows were offered for her!)  When I stood and left the hut the “doctor” whacked me on the leg with an iron hook he was waving around trying to intimidate us. Now poor Happy was stuck under the woman next to her, who was preventing her from leaving, he continued waving a metal rod around as if he was going to beat her with it! I found it all rather entertaining, not seeing how anyone could take this seriously. Eventually our friends went in and saved Happy from marrying the old man and we were escorted out of the home by dozens of the man’s children. In the end, the answer is desperation, when you are desperate for a cure, when you are desperate to believe that someone can change your situation, you will even bring to the man dressed in robes sitting in a round hut resembling a King’s dwelling your last cow, or the last of your food, the last of your money. You will try anything to change your fate and maybe, just maybe it does change, and of course you'll believe it was because of the powers of the witch doctor that it changed.

May your life be filled with “Happy” and may you always have the desire and the right to a healthy and bright future.  May you appreciate your right to ask questions, to push harder, to solicit what you deserve, to answer for yourself and may you always desire more, personally, for yourself and most especially may you always feel loved and respected. May 2014 be the year that you make your dreams come true…because you can.

With Love and Gratitude,

Bonnie B.

        “We are all visitors to this time, this place.  We are just passing through.
Our PURPOSE here is to learn, to grow, to love…. And then we RETURN HOME.”
                                                                -Australian Aboriginal Proverb

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and   affection."                                                                           ~ Buddha

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