Hi everyone! 12 April 2015
I hope this quick e-mail finds you all healthy and happy. It’s Sunday morning as I write this to tell you it has been a busy week-end here in Kisoro. The three day wedding has finally taken place and being a maid is exhausting, luckily they don’t drink at these parties! Typically the series of parties start with “The Introduction”, where the groom’s family hosts a party that officially “introduces” the bride to the groom’s family. The next day is “The giveaway”, which is held at the bride’s family home and the bride is both practically and figuratively given away to the groom and his family in exchange for a bride price, whatever amount of cows, goats or money that has been predetermined by the two families. The final party is the wedding, which few people actually attend the church service, but hundreds of neighbors and villagers attend the party afterward. Each of these parties requires renting huge tents and hundreds of plastic chairs, decorations, cake, hiring an M.C. who hosts the party, a D.J. and of course hiring a catering service to feed the masses. The M.C. is also a rapper, they tell me the songs or poems that he is shouting into the microphone are the original form of rapping. It’s during this rapping that the ladies stand with their arms outstretched and exert a “yiiii yiiii yiii yiiiipppeee”! I’ve also been known to participate in this dance! The parties are always well attended, not only is there a delicious meal which includes both meat and a bite sized morsel of cake. They also have nothing else to do and will happily walk for hours for a change of scenery, to chat with the friends they may not have seen for a while and enjoy a meal; they are entertained for hours as the M.C. welcomes people, sometimes children sing or men dance while they wait for the guests of honor to arrive. They enjoy the spectacle which is made of giving gifts and laugh at the M.C. who hikes up his pants and dances like a goofball.
Lavish weddings anywhere in the world are silly, but the absurd part here is that no one can afford a party like this, yet it has become a way to show off. The more cows you slaughter for your party, the more bragging rights you have. The months leading up to the party there is a group of “officials” who meet to plan the wedding, which is to say they collect money to pay for it. They go ask everyone and anyone who knows the bride and groom or the family, or who wants to come to enjoy the meal, for money. The friends and family of the couple pay for the party through contributions. I don’t disagree with the concept, but I can't help but wonder how much more useful and practical it would be if that money was donated to the couple to start their lives together since life is such a struggle? These parties are something new, the actual tradition of marriage in Africa is to shack up with someone, have babies and consider yourself married. This tradition is now referred to by the church as being “married, but not wed” and it is a dreadful sin. Of course, the majority of the population still practices this method, but the faithful Christians insist that they are doing it all wrong! I have actually attended the wedding of a couple who had lived together for twenty years and have eight children together. My question to my friends was, "What's the point after all this time?" They laughed at me and told me, "They can't be Godparents if they aren't wed." Oh, well that explains it!
I won’t go into too many implausible details about how the wedding started at 11 and when noon rolled around we were still in the “saloon” getting our hair done. Yes, they actually call it saloon instead of salon! Or with the details of how I refused every product they tried to put into my hair because it is made for African hair, which is dry and course. I won’t bore you with how many times I had to tell her “no” to the petroleum jelly she wanted to smear on my head where the scalp had turned red from sitting under a hair dryer for an hour. Or with the details of me asking her to spray it when I was finished, little did I know she was spraying “Olive Oil” sheen spray, which I thought was hairspray, so when I looked in the mirror, my big, bouncing curls were now heavy with oil, as if I hadn't washed my hair in a month. It didn't matter for long; soon we were dancing our way around and around and around the cake, despite the unrelenting pouring rain while the guests and the men sat dry and happy under a tent watching it all. I won’t give you my opinions on how the bride has to kneel down to feed her husband and his parents a bite of cake either. Or about the crowd laughing and cheering when I danced or when I pulled my sheer shawl that is supposed to be tied over one shoulder like a Greek God, while freezing and wet I pulled it up and around both shoulders in an attempt to be warm. I saw some people give me a thumbs up while others shook their heads and laughed at me. But, I will tell you that I have never hiked a mountain in high heels before, my shoes literally fell apart and fell off of my feet by the end of the day. I will also tell you that after the bride and groom were given their gifts of hens and pots, basins, grass mats, a lantern, a mattress, blankets and more pots, (I think she’ll be able to cook for an army with the amount of pots she received, she tells me she wants no less than six children though so maybe the pots are sufficient!) then we had to escort them to their home and ensure we were leaving Ellen in a good place. After, the gifts were presented, the cake was served and the battery on the blaring microphone finally went dead, I happily changed my shoes and followed the procession that carried the gifts on our heads through the drizzling rain and followed the bride and groom to their home. It was a never ending trail of colorful fabrics and umbrellas up more slick and muddy mountain paths through stunning scenery. The views of Lake Mutanda, banana trees, rolling, green hills and the little, brick house where we left Ellen were amazing and a beautiful ending to the festivities.
I hope this quick e-mail finds you all healthy and happy. It’s Sunday morning as I write this to tell you it has been a busy week-end here in Kisoro. The three day wedding has finally taken place and being a maid is exhausting, luckily they don’t drink at these parties! Typically the series of parties start with “The Introduction”, where the groom’s family hosts a party that officially “introduces” the bride to the groom’s family. The next day is “The giveaway”, which is held at the bride’s family home and the bride is both practically and figuratively given away to the groom and his family in exchange for a bride price, whatever amount of cows, goats or money that has been predetermined by the two families. The final party is the wedding, which few people actually attend the church service, but hundreds of neighbors and villagers attend the party afterward. Each of these parties requires renting huge tents and hundreds of plastic chairs, decorations, cake, hiring an M.C. who hosts the party, a D.J. and of course hiring a catering service to feed the masses. The M.C. is also a rapper, they tell me the songs or poems that he is shouting into the microphone are the original form of rapping. It’s during this rapping that the ladies stand with their arms outstretched and exert a “yiiii yiiii yiii yiiiipppeee”! I’ve also been known to participate in this dance! The parties are always well attended, not only is there a delicious meal which includes both meat and a bite sized morsel of cake. They also have nothing else to do and will happily walk for hours for a change of scenery, to chat with the friends they may not have seen for a while and enjoy a meal; they are entertained for hours as the M.C. welcomes people, sometimes children sing or men dance while they wait for the guests of honor to arrive. They enjoy the spectacle which is made of giving gifts and laugh at the M.C. who hikes up his pants and dances like a goofball.
Lavish weddings anywhere in the world are silly, but the absurd part here is that no one can afford a party like this, yet it has become a way to show off. The more cows you slaughter for your party, the more bragging rights you have. The months leading up to the party there is a group of “officials” who meet to plan the wedding, which is to say they collect money to pay for it. They go ask everyone and anyone who knows the bride and groom or the family, or who wants to come to enjoy the meal, for money. The friends and family of the couple pay for the party through contributions. I don’t disagree with the concept, but I can't help but wonder how much more useful and practical it would be if that money was donated to the couple to start their lives together since life is such a struggle? These parties are something new, the actual tradition of marriage in Africa is to shack up with someone, have babies and consider yourself married. This tradition is now referred to by the church as being “married, but not wed” and it is a dreadful sin. Of course, the majority of the population still practices this method, but the faithful Christians insist that they are doing it all wrong! I have actually attended the wedding of a couple who had lived together for twenty years and have eight children together. My question to my friends was, "What's the point after all this time?" They laughed at me and told me, "They can't be Godparents if they aren't wed." Oh, well that explains it!
I won’t go into too many implausible details about how the wedding started at 11 and when noon rolled around we were still in the “saloon” getting our hair done. Yes, they actually call it saloon instead of salon! Or with the details of how I refused every product they tried to put into my hair because it is made for African hair, which is dry and course. I won’t bore you with how many times I had to tell her “no” to the petroleum jelly she wanted to smear on my head where the scalp had turned red from sitting under a hair dryer for an hour. Or with the details of me asking her to spray it when I was finished, little did I know she was spraying “Olive Oil” sheen spray, which I thought was hairspray, so when I looked in the mirror, my big, bouncing curls were now heavy with oil, as if I hadn't washed my hair in a month. It didn't matter for long; soon we were dancing our way around and around and around the cake, despite the unrelenting pouring rain while the guests and the men sat dry and happy under a tent watching it all. I won’t give you my opinions on how the bride has to kneel down to feed her husband and his parents a bite of cake either. Or about the crowd laughing and cheering when I danced or when I pulled my sheer shawl that is supposed to be tied over one shoulder like a Greek God, while freezing and wet I pulled it up and around both shoulders in an attempt to be warm. I saw some people give me a thumbs up while others shook their heads and laughed at me. But, I will tell you that I have never hiked a mountain in high heels before, my shoes literally fell apart and fell off of my feet by the end of the day. I will also tell you that after the bride and groom were given their gifts of hens and pots, basins, grass mats, a lantern, a mattress, blankets and more pots, (I think she’ll be able to cook for an army with the amount of pots she received, she tells me she wants no less than six children though so maybe the pots are sufficient!) then we had to escort them to their home and ensure we were leaving Ellen in a good place. After, the gifts were presented, the cake was served and the battery on the blaring microphone finally went dead, I happily changed my shoes and followed the procession that carried the gifts on our heads through the drizzling rain and followed the bride and groom to their home. It was a never ending trail of colorful fabrics and umbrellas up more slick and muddy mountain paths through stunning scenery. The views of Lake Mutanda, banana trees, rolling, green hills and the little, brick house where we left Ellen were amazing and a beautiful ending to the festivities.
Have a Happy and Prosperous week.
As always, lots of Love,
Bonnie
"There are thousands of languages in the world, and a smile speaks them all."
bonniebzdok.blogspot.com
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Send a check payable to H.E.L.P. (our partner organization) to:
H.E.L.P.
1041 S County Rd 3
Johnstown CO 80534
Please include a note (separate from the check) indicating that the funds are for Resilient Uganda and then let me know you need a receipt and the tax i.d. number and I will e-mail it to you!
For a non-taxable donation:
Send a check payable to Bonnie Bzdok to:
Bzdok's
9161 Great River Rd
Little Falls MN 56345
or
Visit our website: https://resilientuganda.webs.com and donate through our paypal account.
Thank you so much, your donation will go directly to improving the lives of Ugandans and building projects of empowerment.
Wacozey Chaney! (Thank you very much!)
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