I hope your Christmas was amazing and that your New Year brings you more peace than ever! Christmas Day was spent with my family and with my friends Vinnie, an Australian that I met in Kampala and Haley, my friend from AK who spent the month of December with me in Kisoro. We had a beautiful lunch at the German couples home, who live next door to us. It was a feast of plenty including meatballs and sugar cookies. Haley and I had several baking extravaganzas throughout the month; we introduced many lucky Ugandans to sugar cookies fresh from the oven and banana bread, both were very warmly received!
I feel so blessed to have the month of December filled with
so many friends. I had a brief visit from Karin and Brita at the beginning of
the month, it was so great to catch up with familiar faces and hear about their
African experiences! They left me with a bulging bag of goodies and clothes to
distribute along with many smiles and good stories. The very same day that they
arrived, my friend Denyse, whom I also met in Kampala, but is Rwandan
returned to Kampala after a week-end visit. So much goodness…when it rains, it
pours! Haley and I toured Kisoro by foot and by motorcycle, we ran a marathon,
taught sexual health classes, enjoyed lazy days at the lake, gave swimming
lessons, baked, attended weddings, visited the pygmy's, took so many gorgeous photographs with her
camera, went hunting for witch doctors and with Haley around there’s constantly
sporadic dance parties, we were busy girls and had an incredible month!
Santa brought me "Happy", since they don't have the “L” sound in their alphabet, it comes out as an "R" and Haley, was being called "Harry". Although I thought that was a nice name for her, for some reason she didn't care for it and we quickly turned her into "Happy" which is a common name here and suits her beyond perfectly. The first class she taught was at my friend’s home, with about twelve young, African men in attendance. She taught everything from basic wound cleaning, hand washing, the importance of boiling your drinking water, splinting a broken bone, immobilizing the neck and transporting someone with a spinal injury. The syllabus was thorough and she even talked about nutritional information, the importance of eating colorful vegetables and adding variety to their diet, stressing carrots, avocados and their leafy green, spinach-like veggie of doe-doe. Everyone sat intently listening, along with the group of men, my female friends Denyse and Hope, the housekeeper, were a great addition to the group. At the end of the class, we decided to add some information on Sexual Health, STD’s, and the transmission of HIV. After the six hour class, when Happy asked for a final time if anyone had questions, we spent another two hours answering questions strictly about sexual health. It was obvious to us, where their interest was and what the most useful information to them was. From then on, the class turned into a Sexual Health class, there were nine classes in total, most of them in villages and we could have continued to teach, if only Happy decided to stay longer! Having Happy for a teacher and given the subject matter in which she spoke, makes for some very content students at the end of each class! She is bumbling ball of positive energy and laughter.
Santa brought me "Happy", since they don't have the “L” sound in their alphabet, it comes out as an "R" and Haley, was being called "Harry". Although I thought that was a nice name for her, for some reason she didn't care for it and we quickly turned her into "Happy" which is a common name here and suits her beyond perfectly. The first class she taught was at my friend’s home, with about twelve young, African men in attendance. She taught everything from basic wound cleaning, hand washing, the importance of boiling your drinking water, splinting a broken bone, immobilizing the neck and transporting someone with a spinal injury. The syllabus was thorough and she even talked about nutritional information, the importance of eating colorful vegetables and adding variety to their diet, stressing carrots, avocados and their leafy green, spinach-like veggie of doe-doe. Everyone sat intently listening, along with the group of men, my female friends Denyse and Hope, the housekeeper, were a great addition to the group. At the end of the class, we decided to add some information on Sexual Health, STD’s, and the transmission of HIV. After the six hour class, when Happy asked for a final time if anyone had questions, we spent another two hours answering questions strictly about sexual health. It was obvious to us, where their interest was and what the most useful information to them was. From then on, the class turned into a Sexual Health class, there were nine classes in total, most of them in villages and we could have continued to teach, if only Happy decided to stay longer! Having Happy for a teacher and given the subject matter in which she spoke, makes for some very content students at the end of each class! She is bumbling ball of positive energy and laughter.
For most of the villages, we notified the sub county chief
of the village and requested them to “mobilize people” for the classes,
sometimes we showed up to a group of eager villagers sitting on benches outside
of a church and other times we showed up to a surprised chief who quickly made
excuses and sent someone to notify the villagers of the class while we sat and
waited. When we arrived in the village of Kabaya, where we built the house for
the old man, they were all surprised to see us, but Happy stood up in the
trading center and began her dialogue about STD’s, condoms and HIV. The village
men gathered and before I knew it there were over one hundred men standing
there listening. I shuddered for her and couldn’t imagine how she had the
courage to stand up there and talk about gonorrhea, chlamydia and genital
herpes. The villagers were all interested in the information she was sharing
and most had no idea that any other STD’s, besides AIDS existed. At the end of
the class
one old man asked, “How do I properly wash out the condom before
using it with another woman?” Or, one woman asked, “So…if I have all of these
diseases, that means I have HIV?” The lack of knowledge on the subject was
astounding and the desire to know more was equally amazing. Imagine not having
access to this information or not visiting a gynecologist regularly, or ever.
Imagine never visiting a Doctor for a check-up, or to just ask questions,
imagine not having the internet or the library to research symptoms you may be
having. They were thrilled to have someone to ask their questions to, and it
didn’t stop at sexual health questions! Happy had to repeatedly tell them that
she wasn’t a Doctor; she was a teacher of First Aid and Health and then she’d answer
the questions the best she could, usually followed by, “and then see a Doctor”.
We put an ad on the radio to advertise the classes in the remote villages; we
hired a woman translator so that the women would feel comfortable asking their questions
as well. The culture here does not allow women to speak openly and freely about
many things. We were told that if the women asked questions about sex or condom
use that their husbands may think they were cheating on them. Unfortunately,
but not surprisingly, it’s many of the men that cheat on their wives and spread
the HIV virus, or they have more than one wife and the wives have no say in the
matter.
One Saturday morning we took a small, wooden
canoe across
Lake Mutanda, to a small island with about one hundred people living on
it.
Justine, the interpreter was with us and after hiking up the hill to the
small
church at the top, we sat in the blazing sun for over an hour while the
people
were “mobilized”. Eventually the entire population of the island was
there,
with no health clinic on the island these people were thrilled to ask
about
their varicose veins, about the skin rashes they have and many questions
about HIV
contraction, such as; when I go to the dentist can I get HIV? When I get
my
head shaved and share the razor with other people can I get HIV? Of
course
these are legitimate questions but still astounding that they don’t know
the
answers to them by now! Nor do many of them know how to properly use a
condom,
so after the first class, we went out and bought ourselves the biggest
African
carrot we could find and demonstrated how to put on, to remove and even
how to
dispose of a condom properly. Of course, not everyone appreciated this
information, but we decided it was worth offending a few to stop the
spread of diseases and possibly unwanted pregnancies in an already
overpopulated and impoverished nation. Most people were very interested
and were both astonished and entertained by
it. After the class on Mutanda Island, we all slowly made our way back
down to
the boat through banana plantations while chewing on fresh sugar cane,
we
climbed into the boat and as Justine sat rigidly in front of us I asked
her if
she’s ever been in a boat before, she shook her head no. I asked her if
she
liked it and she said she was “fearing”. Of course there’s not a single
life
jacket in the boat and out of the seven of us, chances are good that
it’s just
Happy and I that know how to swim. Just after Happy and I briefly
discuss that
we’d have to choose which one we would save if the boat tipped, her
phone
rings. It is Justine’s husband, wondering when she’ll be home. Two days
later
it was Christmas, we started the day by delivering fresh banana bread to
some
families of the students I teach. Then, we celebrated at the German’s
home; Happy, my Aussie friend Vinnie and I all enjoyed the feast and
many
silly games. It was a lovely day, filled with friends and laughter. Two
days
after Christmas we sent Justine a text, asking her if she could
translate the
next day for our final class. She told us she couldn’t, that she had a
friend
who was very sick in the hospital. The next day, after class, we were
told that
Justine’s husband had died of HIV. The “friend” in the hospital was her
husband;
she never told us he was sick, never told us he had HIV. Of course, that
also
means that Justine is probably HIV positive as well and possibly their
three year old son, hopefully she took the drugs while she was pregnant
with him to avoid him contracting the virus. A world of secrets,
deception and delusions, the next day at the burial the Reverend tells
us, “he
was taken too soon, but that is life.” Everyone seems to be resigned to
the
terrible fates that Africa dishes out, no one questions it and no one
has the
courage or confidence to fight for change. It’s like they think they
don’t
deserve any better, they don’t have the right to a better life.
The hunt for a witch Doctor was in part to help us
understand how people could actually believe in them and the superstitions in
which they are bound. We drove through villages and pushed the motorcycles up
hills through mud, we walked through the slick, rutted and muddy parts. We
found men claiming to be witch doctors, but who couldn’t cure whites, we found
a woman with so many animals and children in her compound there’s no way
possible that she could know how many of either were there. We sat in the hut
of an old man who claimed to cure people and when we started asking too many
questions he started pushing us for marriage! He was willing to give ten cows
for Happy; I was willing to give her, although we’d had much better offers (as
many as 700 cows were offered for her!)
When I stood and left the hut the “doctor” whacked me on the leg
with an
iron hook he was waving around trying to intimidate us. Now poor Happy
was
stuck under the woman next to her, who was preventing her from leaving,
he
continued waving a metal rod around as if he was going to beat her with
it! I
found it all rather entertaining, not seeing how anyone could take this
seriously. Eventually our friends went in and saved Happy from marrying
the old
man and we were escorted out of the home by dozens of the man’s
children. In
the end, the answer is desperation, when you are desperate for a cure,
when you
are desperate to believe that someone can change your situation, you
will even
bring to the man dressed in robes sitting in a round hut resembling a
King’s
dwelling your last cow, or the last of your food, the last of your
money. You
will try anything to change your fate and maybe, just maybe it does
change, and of course you'll believe it was because of the powers of the
witch doctor that it changed.
May your life be filled with “Happy” and may you always have
the desire and the right to a healthy and bright future. May you appreciate your right to ask
questions, to push harder, to solicit what you deserve, to answer for yourself
and may you always desire more, personally, for yourself and most especially
may you always feel loved and respected. May 2014 be the year that you make
your dreams come true…because you can.
With Love and Gratitude,
Bonnie B.
“We are all
visitors to this time, this place. We
are just passing through.
Our PURPOSE here
is to learn, to grow, to love…. And then we RETURN HOME.”
-Australian
Aboriginal Proverb
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha
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